01 02 03 Life, Unconditionally: Get a Helmet 04 05 15 16 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 31 32 33

Get a Helmet

First of all, I am a very indecisive person.  Second, I apologize if my posts get a little repetitive.

For the past five years I've moved around from place to place (Italy, college, Italy again, college, internship, Italy for a third time) and now that I've been truly thinking about my future, I can't really picture myself staying put anywhere for too long.    Now maybe something will come along and change that, but as a single adult with very little tying me down, putting anymore roots in one place freaks me out a little.  Is there a phobia term for this?  Like claustrophobia but with staying in a city for too long?  I've only ever thought about "living" in two cities, but I can only imagine so much without having to think of something else.  Plus, I still want to see the world.  I miss Italy every single day and the list of places I want to visit seems to grow every week.

Growing up, I thought of many different plans for my life: architect, teacher, social worker, event planning, tourism, Italy, etc.  Currently I am working on a career in marketing.  It's been about two months and I still feel like I am trying to get my bearings.  I'm slowly starting to realize that it's because this is the first time I'm in a position where I really have to try.  Most of my life, I haven't really had to try to do well - high school and college were a breeze for me.  The adult workforce not so much, which I'm guessing is a contributing factor to my original problem.  With this job I am focusing on the day to day until I get to the level of competence that I want to be at.  

It's not only my professional life, but I still feel like I have to get my personal life under control.  Making time for family and friends, going to a gym, blogging, etc.  Unfortunately by the time I get home most nights, I'm too exhausted to do everything that I can't get done during the day.  Although I recently had to take a day off work for a doctor's appointment, which meant I was able to focus on my personal life.  I ran errands, saw a movie (Expendables 3 - pretty good in my opinion), did some writing, and just relaxed.  Honestly, it was probably one of the best days I've had since I've been back from Italy.  I felt like I earned that day off after working so hard for over a month.  As a nanny, I had WAY too much free time on my hands and now I've done a complete 180.  Balance, my friends, balance is what I need.

A big thing is that I'm STILL trying to figure out the direction of this blog, especially as I have less time to write these days.  I refuse to give up on it, because I love having this outlet to express myself.  So please, don't give up on me!

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