First of all, I am a very indecisive person. Second, I apologize if my posts get a little repetitive.
For the past five years I've moved around from place to place (Italy, college, Italy again, college, internship, Italy for a third time) and now that I've been truly thinking about my future, I can't really picture myself staying put anywhere for too long. Now maybe something will come along and change that, but as a single adult with very little tying me down, putting anymore roots in one place freaks me out a little. Is there a phobia term for this? Like claustrophobia but with staying in a city for too long? I've only ever thought about "living" in two cities, but I can only imagine so much without having to think of something else. Plus, I still want to see the world. I miss Italy every single day and the list of places I want to visit seems to grow every week.
Growing up, I thought of many different plans for my life: architect, teacher, social worker, event planning, tourism, Italy, etc. Currently I am working on a career in marketing. It's been about two months and I still feel like I am trying to get my bearings. I'm slowly starting to realize that it's because this is the first time I'm in a position where I really have to try. Most of my life, I haven't really had to try to do well - high school and college were a breeze for me. The adult workforce not so much, which I'm guessing is a contributing factor to my original problem. With this job I am focusing on the day to day until I get to the level of competence that I want to be at.
It's not only my professional life, but I still feel like I have to get my personal life under control. Making time for family and friends, going to a gym, blogging, etc. Unfortunately by the time I get home most nights, I'm too exhausted to do everything that I can't get done during the day. Although I recently had to take a day off work for a doctor's appointment, which meant I was able to focus on my personal life. I ran errands, saw a movie (Expendables 3 - pretty good in my opinion), did some writing, and just relaxed. Honestly, it was probably one of the best days I've had since I've been back from Italy. I felt like I earned that day off after working so hard for over a month. As a nanny, I had WAY too much free time on my hands and now I've done a complete 180. Balance, my friends, balance is what I need.
A big thing is that I'm STILL trying to figure out the direction of this blog, especially as I have less time to write these days. I refuse to give up on it, because I love having this outlet to express myself. So please, don't give up on me!