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Early Reflection

As of last week, I have been living in Italy for two months. 

This realization caused others to form.  Yes, I have had some good times since I have been here, but I’ve been too focused on worrying about my future that I haven’t given myself the time to really enjoy this experience. 

The first step is always to admit that you have a problem, so that is what this post is for.  I am now acutely aware that I need to take a breath and let myself have fun and not be a wallflower while I’m here.  This does not mean that I will stop worrying about my future, but I will start trying to do something about it.  I probably wouldn’t worry as much if I didn’t have school loans to pay off, but there’s nothing I can do to change that.  All I want is a CAREER that allows me to live in Italy and that is willing to deal with the paperwork that is required for me to live here.  IS THAT TOO MUCH TO ASK???  Sometimes I think it is, but then I remember that anything worth having is rarely easy.  This is where my innately lazy habits need to come to an end.  Or at least be worked through. 

I have the opportunities to get out of my apartment and have fun, but I don’t take as many of them as I should, because I’m too busy worrying about money.  Yes, money is important, but the experience I have here is far more vital to my life.  Who knows if I will get my wish to live here forever?  I need to take advantage of life while I know that I can. 

There are many decisions that I have to make, but that doesn’t give me an excuse to isolate myself.  I don’t want anyone to think that I am ungrateful for this opportunity that some other person could have had.  I know that I am extremely lucky to be where I am and to have family and friends that support me as much as they do.  From now on, I will make a conscious effort to not let my introvert tendencies and chronic worrying to get in my way.

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