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In-Betweens

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Change can be scary, we all know this.  But it is also something we face everyday.  Life does not care whether or not you welcome change or avoid it like the plague - change is inevitable.

My life has been changing a lot lately, and I am constantly thinking about it and what it means for the rest of my life.  Some aspects scare the living daylights out of me, while I impatiently wait for others to arrive.  I think the piece that scares me the most is the transition.  Once I make a decision or finally accept that something is changing, then I am usually fine and I can roll with it.  But in that time of waiting for everything to change, or the "in-betweens" as I like to call it, just drives me absolutely bonkers.

A bigger change for me is in the process of happening, though for others this may not seem "big".  I am making the switch from reading actual hard copies of books to a Kindle.  I know, I know, I have let myself and some other people in my life down for making this switch.  But at some point I want just a tad of practicality in my life.  Usually that want for practicality occurs when I am in the process of other changes, I think because it somehow makes me feel more grounded and in control.  My reasoning for making the switch to a Kindle is simply that my life is in a state of constant transition from one place to another.  I haven't really felt settled in one place since I left home for college.  Having a Kindle will allow me to carry as many books as I want from one place to another.  Even though I won't be able to hold the books, feel their cracking spines, or even smelling them (I admit, I am a freak when it comes to books) - having a Kindle when I travel/move will comfort me.  Books are one of my favorite sources of comfort, so having access to my entire book collection when I am in a new place with new people and new situations will help me stay in control of myself and make me feel less alone.

In the past year I have gone from school, to Italy, to home, to school, to home, to school, to home, to the island for my summer job.  Like I said - transition.

I love to lose myself in a book, but I can't always decide which book I want to lose myself in at any given time.  A Kindle will give me options.  When traveling or moving, I will no longer have to pick and choose which of my books will make the journey with me and which books will remain on my bookshelf at home (for my sister to "borrow" aka steal).  Unfortunately, buying a Kindle means that I will need to re-purchase almost all of the books I already own.  Luckily I can do this slowly, and many of the Kindle-versions of the older classic novels that I have are free on Amazon.  I purchased my Kindle online the other day and now I am impatiently waiting for it to arrive.  As I mentioned earlier, as soon as a decision is made I am fine, but when I have to wait for that decision to be put into action...  Bonkers.

Sadly, switching from books to a Kindle is a big change for me, but in comparison to other changes that are about to happen to me, getting a Kindle is not a huge deal.  Right now I am in a constant state of irregular heartbeats and worry.  I've always said that I need change in my life - I would be too bored otherwise.  Still, it does scare me from time to time, which I am not ashamed of in any way.

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