Clearly, I will never lose my childish innocence- the other day, I re-watched the movie "Angus, Thongs, and Full-Frontal Snogging". I always forget just how much I love watching it until I actually watch it again, and I'm then also reminded of what a great soundtrack it has. Yes, I did buy two of the songs in the movie immediately upon this latest viewing.
But, between my bursts of laughter, the movie really got me thinking about where my life is going. Granted, many things have been making me wonder about my future lately. My impending graduation date might have something to do with that as well, but who can really say. I have been going back and forth about where I want to live, where I want to work, what field I want to work in, etc. IT'S DRIVING ME BONKERS!!! Luckily, later that night I also stumbled upon (whatever happened to that website anyway?) a song that I love, but tend to forget about. This song is always able to make me feel better and more in control of my life than I usually feel. Although the song itself cannot help me answer any of the questions I bombard myself with, it does help me clear my head. And again with the childish innocence and love for all things cheesy...
Yes, I did originally hear this song in Hannah Montana. Judge me, I dare you.
The lyrics may be cheesy, but they do the trick. Just one listen to this song and I feel infinitely better:
"She never thought that she would
Get her second chance
Running so far from all she's ever known
Convinced she's lost all meaning
Where did her dreams go
Still she knew that there was something more
Don't be scared, there's someone there
To say these words you need to hear
Don't let anybody tell you who you are
It's OK to let go, you're that shooting star
Remember all you wished for
Believe it will be true
You will never find yourself anywhere else,
You'll find yourself in you."
Like I said, reassuring. That's only the first half of the song, by the way.
But anyway... I've been seeing so many posts on Facebook from my "friends" about traveling to many different places all over the world, and the travel bug in me is starting to itch. I can't handle it. I NEED to be in Europe right now. It feels like life or death at some instances - even though that's really not the case. I just miss it soooooooooooo much. There aren't enough "o's" in the world to express just how much. Especially my favorite pizzeria and gelateria.
I've been all over Google and job websites, especially LinkedIn, about event planning and tourists jobs throughout the world, essentially. For real though, my two main locations of searching have been Italy and Savannah, Georgia. I really love it down there. Also in my home-city, but that's more of a safety net search, if you will. I've also been looking into jobs as an au-pair or nanny. It seems as though that would be an easy way to get me overseas, although it would not help too much in the school loan department. Another option I've been toying with is getting certified to teach English as a foreign language. Again, paying for certification does not really help me begin paying back school loans. It sucks that I have to think about such things instead of just being able to pick up and move to Italy. But with that comes the cost of a plane ticket, a place to live, food, transportation, a VISA. Oh, so expensive. What I really need is to just find a rich Italian to marry me. Now, before you start saying I'm a gold-digger (see what I did there...haha), I am just kidding. If there's no love in my relationships, there will be no marriage. Why couldn't I have won that $600 million Powerball???
I really wish I had someone that could help me sort everything out. Whether or not it would be worth it to become an au-pair or TEFL certified, or if I should just get a job near home and save up money while paying off some loans. No matter what, though, I will NOT allow myself to get stuck living in my home state for the rest of my life. It has its moments when I love it here, but there are not enough of those moments to make me want to live here forever. The only things really holding me back are my friends and family. Especially my dad- every time I talk to him on the phone after being away from him, I end up nearly crying my eyes out. After living away from him, even just these first couple weeks of my internship, hearing his voice is already getting to me. Clearly, I am "momma's best friend" and "daddy's girl". And proud of it.
As you can tell, after not posting for so long, I have quite a bit to talk about. And this doesn't even include my new job/internship for the summer. That's a whole other can of worms.
Here's hoping I can sort some things out BEFORE this internship ends and I have to move back home.
In other new, my birthday is ONLY (sarcasm) 45 days away!!! It's about to be the longest month and a half of my life. My 21st birthday.